In Memoriam
1981-2007
Doug Sperber graduated cum laude in 2003 from the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) with a Bachelor's degree in Psychology. He received a Master's degree in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University in 2006. Doug began working with children with autism in 2002 at the Lovaas Institute for Early Intervention (LIFE). He also spent 18 months studying at the Koegel Autism Research and Training Center at the University of California, Santa Barbara (UCSB). Doug had been employed at ACT since 2002 and a Supervisor since 2005. He was working toward both his PECS and BCBA certifications. Doug had recently been accepted into a Ph.D. program at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas (UNLV) with a full scholarship. He was planning to continue research and treatment in the field of special education.
Below are some pictures and comments from Doug’s friends and co-workers at ACT.
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At his memorial service, Doug’s good friend referred to him as irreplaceable. That adjective remains with me because it represents my feelings for Doug where other adjectives have failed. Doug wasn’t simply bright, funny, trustworthy, loyal, and talented. He was all of those things, but that collection of adjectives does not capture his unique spirit. He was unlike any other person I have ever met. Irreplaceable.
I had the difficult task of notifying Doug’s co-workers and clients about his death. What struck me, beyond the sheer magnitude of grief, was how many stories people told with the same general themes: commitment, selflessness, loyalty, and friendship. Doug had in his life what most of us strive for – he was widely loved and made a difference in the lives of those around him.
I consider it my good fortune to have counted Doug as my coworker and friend for the past 5 years. The autism and behavior analysis communities have lost a skilled and dedicated supporter, and our community has lost an exceptional human being. We at ACT take very seriously the task of honoring and remembering Doug through our daily work with children with autism and their families.
The day Doug passed away he was planning to leave on a trip to the Midwest to visit a friend. He had been in my office a few days before, talking about graduate school and how we would see one another at autism conferences. As he left he joked about his fear of flying. With a huge grin he said, “If I don’t come back, Boss, it was a pleasure.” The pleasure was all mine, Doug.
Dr. Aimee Anderson
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I have the privilege of having known Doug since the day he was hired at ACT. I was assigned to train him as a behavior therapist. He was pleasant and seemed very eager about the job. When he was observing me work he had many logical questions. I was impressed. Then it was time for him to start doing some of the hands-on work. This is when his demeanor changed. He was very nervous and could not stop shaking. He could not even give the child instructions because his voice was quivering so much! I tried to make him feel comfortable, but it didn’t help. I was unsure what he was going to be like as a therapist. Honestly, I was a little skeptical. Well, I was wrong to question him. He far surpassed anyone's expectations and was fantastic with families, children, and coworkers. He became an asset to ACT and was highly respected.
I feel so fortunate to have known Doug and worked with him for the past five years.
Dr. Karen Barbi
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Anyone who knew Doug knew of his affinity for rock music, unusual humor, and love of baseball. I am fortunate enough to share these same interests. Doug and I would spend hours talking about everything and anything, but our conversations mostly focused on these topics. It was through these conversations that our friendship grew and Doug and I became close.
Early this year Doug and I went to the ABA conference in San Diego. We shared the same hotel room and spent four days together. It was during this trip that I really got to know Doug well. During the two and a half hour drive to San Diego, my girlfriend either called or text messaged me 6 times. Doug found this simply amazing and did not hesitate to endlessly tease me about it. We even made a bet about the average number of times per day she would contact me during the conference. The over/under was 8 and I am afraid to say that Doug won the bet.
The most memorable development from this trip was when Doug first heard me say, “I love you,” to my girlfriend. Initially it caught him off guard, but as the weekend progressed he started to expect it with every phone call. Doug intently watched me every time my phone rang in anticipation of those three words. When I would eventually say them, Doug would throw his arms up triumphantly and yell, “Yes!” Doug took such pleasure in this that, throughout the trip, he would randomly get my attention, “Hey J!” As I turned toward Doug, I was greeted with a huge grin and, “I love you,” in a mocking, high pitched voice. Without fail, I would blush and Doug would laugh his distinctive and infectious laugh. I can still hear his laugh. To my dismay, this behavior continued throughout our friendship, whenever Doug could catch me off guard. I would hear a quiet, “Hey J.” I fell for it every time and we always laughed about it. If I close my eyes, I can still see his big grin. Now it is my turn, “Hey Doug…I love you.”
Jason McDuffee
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I was lucky enough to share many funny, insightful, honest, and always memorable moments with my dear friend, colleague, and classmate, Doug. It is so rare to have someone in your life that you can entrust with your fears, questions, and thoughts and know that you will not be judged or laughed at or ignored. Doug was that someone in my life who knew how to calm my fears, answer my questions, and listen to my thoughts with the most humble and sincere heart. One of Doug’s characteristics that I appreciated most was how he never let a question go answered. Whether it be about behavior, autism, or life outside of those two subjects he knew so well, Doug would always come back to me with answers to my unending questions. Never once did he act as if I was asking too much. He truly was the perfect teacher, the perfect friend, and the perfect example of what it means to embody the change you want to see in the world around you. Doug taught me to believe in myself and the courageous children and families we work with, and to never stop asking questions and finding the answers. My life is better for having had him in it, and I will forever cherish my time with him.
Richelle Fullilove
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I can honestly say that I have never met anyone else like Doug. When I first started working with Doug I would see him at the CLU library and we had the most interesting conversations. Since I did not know Doug that well, I took his words seriously. However, the more we talked the more I finally understood Doug’s sense of humor. As the months went by Doug and I became closer friends. Every time my boyfriend and I hung out with Doug, he always brought up our wedding (even though we weren’t engaged). Since Doug and I had the same taste in music, he was excited at the possibility that I would not have “cheesy wedding songs” at my wedding. He strongly suggested Las Vegas for the location for the obvious reason - he would not have to drive up for it! He asked me about the wedding a lot, mostly to get a reaction – that was his sense of humor.
Doug was such a sincere guy. He always made sure everything was alright in your life before talking about anything else. I mentioned at a team meeting that I had to practice administering an assessment for school and, without hesitation, Doug volunteered. He knew that it would have to take place on a weekend, take a long time to administer, and become extremely personal, yet he still enthusiastically volunteered. Doug selflessly wanted to help me, no matter the circumstances. Throughout the assessment Doug commented on everything! This made it extremely difficult for me to keep a straight face. I finally broke down toward the end of the assessment and Doug burst out laughing. After the laughter calmed down Doug said, “I just was checking to see if you were in there” (more of Doug’s infamous sense of humor).
Doug was the type of person that would always put others before himself. Even though I only knew Doug for a short time, I feel blessed to have known him. Doug might not be living in the world physically, but he will always be living in my heart. I miss you, Doug!
Rachel Hronec
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D= Different O= Outgoing U= Understanding G= Generous - Doug was all of these things and that is why so many people loved him. He has touched many lives. I feel fortunate that I got to work with Doug. One memory I have to share of Doug really shows what kind of person he was. We were at a client's house and the sibling of the child we worked with loved Doug. She is young and loves dressing people up. She decided to dress Doug up in a pink wig, a necklace, wings, and a crown. Even though Doug probably did not enjoy being all dressed up in pink, he put on a happy face for the little girl. This was the type of person that he was. He was selfless and did so many things for other people.
Many people don't get the opportunity to tell others how they feel about them before they pass away. I got the opportunity to know what Doug thought about me. I had a conversation with him on the phone the night before he passed away. He was going on vacation the next morning and he said, "In case I don't come back, you are an awesome girl and it has been great working with you." I stopped him and told him we had a meeting the next week together. Now I wish I had taken the opportunity to tell him how much he meant to me and what a great guy he was. He will be missed greatly. We love you, Doug!
Aimee Fiore
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If you know Doug you’re most likely aware of the fact that he was an avid Dodger fan! Well..... I’m an Angel fan. Clearly the two do not go hand in hand. Doug went to the greatest lengths to remind me that the reason for all of my mistakes in life is my baseball preference. I quote him as saying many times over: "That's because you’re an Angel fan, Joie!". Doug was my personal comedian who I will miss so very much.
Joie Laykoff
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I didn’t know Doug very well. I first met him last year right around this time when I started working with ACT. I walked into my
first day of training and there was Doug. During the training session he cracked a few jokes to keep us awake and interested. I can’t remember the jokes but I remember them being hilarious! Doug was a great guy who really cared about his work. He will be missed dearly. With just the little that I knew about Doug, I still feel a significant sense of loss.
Michelle Sekyra
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There are many things that I will remember about Doug, but what stands out the most is what a kind and thoughtful person he was. For a long time we were on a team together in which the team meeting was scheduled for 8:00 a.m. on Friday mornings. Often, he would arrive a little sleepy with a Starbucks coffee in one hand. One day I teased him about it and asked where my Starbucks was. He just said, “Sorry!,” and asked what I would like to order. From then on, whenever we had a meeting and he brought Starbucks for himself, he would always have another one just for me.
It was after these meetings that we would leave the house and then start talking by our cars. There were so many times that we would still be standing there outside an hour later. I will miss those conversations and always remember what a great person he was.
Hannah Gazaui
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Doug, you will be remembered and greatly missed!
